It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
