I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
