Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
