I think I died a long time ago.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
