Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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