so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My vagina is officially offended.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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