I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
