turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize