I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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