Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
