Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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