So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I need to calm my uterus...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My bed smells like the plague
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize