We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
