Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
