eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
