3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
