arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
MIDGETS
????
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
