Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I woke up under a house in Key West
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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