the day after is always just damage control
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
