My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
