Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize