that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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