He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
