not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize