I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
