So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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