Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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