I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just had sex on a roof
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
All I want is dick and wine.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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