You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
