Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
