Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
