come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
