Cold hands, warm shart.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
