the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
