I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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