jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
