hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
