i just had sex bonerless
I am spending my child support on dildos
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
