it was like a zeppelin in a condom
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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