We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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