there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
