ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
