Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
