dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
ttyl tear gas
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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