Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize