i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
