Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
