Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
