Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
