Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
