I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
