Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
