dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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