just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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