There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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