So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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