Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
