Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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