i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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