Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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